Boys and Their Guns

June 21, 2012 at 3:43 pm (Uncategorized)
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You have heard of the saying, “Boys will be boys.” Well, my 4 yr old is a boy’s boy. He loves cars, dirt, making messes, wrestling, and making his momma crazy. Now added to the list, is pretending he is shooting everything in sight. When I say everything, I’m talking me, the wall, TV, his sister, the sky, and strangers. I can play dumb and act like “I have no idea where he gets this from,” but the truth is I know exactly where he gets it from. No matter how much we have tried to not allow our children to watch people shooting each other, there have been times when we are watching a movie while the kids are playing in the other room and just when someone’s head is about to get blown off, here comes the innocent little man up behind the couch saying, “what happened to him Mommy?” Does he come in the room during the other times when nothing bad is going on? Of course not, kids have a way of showing up in the exact moment you don’t want them to. So based on past experiences, we don’t watch those kinds of shows while the kids are around, or if we do, we make sure they are locked away in a dungeon somewhere. (I kid) Then there are times when we finally sit down after a long day thinking the kiddos are asleep, watch Games of Thrones, where people are getting stabbed and things are happening you kind of wish you didn’t know about, and then BAM, you hear your little sweet boy ask, “Why’s it all red Mommy?” Your boy sneaked out of his bedroom and is laying on the floor upstairs where you cannot see him, right smack in plain sight of the TV! So great, you think you’ve scarred him for life because God only knows how long he has been watching. Now you realize you cannot watch anything else but Yo Gabba Gabba until he is 18, basically your life is over. (by the way, anyone else think that show is creepy?) So now he likes to build “guns” with his blocks, position his fingers to “shoot” things, and wants me to buy him a gun. I don’t know what is the right thing to do:  1) ignore it, 2) put him in time out for “shooting” his sister, 3) quickly tell him to not do that, or 4) give up and buy him an AK 47. This used to not be a big deal, kids used to play “Cowboys and Indians and  Bankers and Robbers,” but times have changed. Just like we don’t ride in the back of a pickup truck going 60 mph on the freeway and fight over who is going to ride the “hump,” or lay out in the sun without any sunblock and burn till you look like a lobster, we know better now. Studies show that kids who watch violent shows, videos, etc… at a young age have a tendency to become aggressive and violent as they become older. It probably takes more than watching a few clips of shoot em ups to get this way and there are other factors that come into play, but I can’t help thinking if I am being overly sensitive about this or if I should send the message that “shooting” people although it is just pretend, is not okay. I know guns don’t kill people, people kill people, and blah blah, and I have no problem if he wants to shoot a gun one day, but at an appropriate age and in an appropriate environment. So I tell him that it isn’t nice to “shoot” at people, he responds with “Why Mommy?” or “no, Mommy, it’s not a gun, it is a water hose.” See how they turn it around on you?
Maybe I’m worrying too much (Moms do that), because his innocence is still there and probably won’t disappear until puberty (then I’ll run for the hills). He comes up to me and gives me a kiss for no reason, always asks if I’m ok when I hurt myself, makes sure he gets his sister a cup of water before he gets himself one, and wants me to hold his hand and hug him for “5 more minutes Mommy,” before he goes to sleep. Hopefully, this is a normal phase and it will pass, but now I have  an additional problem: my darling 2-year-old girl has started to get into the “shooting” action and likes to “shoot” me too, but she does it with a wink. What  is that all about? Is she trying to send me a hidden message? 

Should I worry or just let this phase pass?
Tell me your thoughts, I’d love to hear them! (as long as I agree with them- jk!)

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Your Vote is Your Voice

June 19, 2012 at 6:43 pm (Uncategorized)
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This isn’t my usual mommy bloggy stuff, so excuse me if I get off my mommy soap box and ride on a different theme for today.

Ok…ahem….testing 1, 2, 3…. (Mic on)…

When I hear someone say, “I’m not going to vote because it doesn’t matter,” it is like nails on the chalkboard. To be honest, I used to be that person. Shortly after high school and up until my early twenties, I didn’t really pay much attention to politics or who was running for what. I didn’t think my vote counted for much and that the majority of the country would vote for the right person. Now I know better and it seems ridiculous that I ever thought that. I sure  annoyed some people in my own family by having that type of attitude. I know better now and the tables have turned. So when I hear that statement, I want to shake that person and tell them, “What is wrong with you? Ok fine, if you don’t care, then vote for this person,” but I know that is not right either and plus I don’t like getting the stink eye. Our vote does matter and if we didn’t vote, then nothing would change and the country would be run by a small group of people without fair representation. Do you want your off the wall neighbor who you think is cra-aa-zay, but you know who votes, to decide the fate of your nation? Many of us forget that there was a time when certain groups were denied the right to vote. Sure, Black people were given the right to vote with the passing of the 15th Amendment in the late 1800s, but there were loop holes. The government put into place a rule that you had to pass a literacy test in order to vote and most Black people at the time couldn’t read because they were never taught due to that little thing called, oh I don’t know…. Slavery. White men got around this because if a white man couldn’t read, he could still vote if his grandfather had voted. This “grandfather” clause worked because the literacy law of voting wouldn’t have been enacted for dear old grandpa’s time, hence, a genius work around. (As Dave Chappelle would say…”That was racist!”) Also, women weren’t given the right to vote until 1920. Woman’s suffrage took years to take place because many people felt it didn’t matter. Give women the right to vote and they will take away our booze! (We ruin everything)  Even many women didn’t agree with their right to vote, mostly upper class women. They felt they had enough influence with their husbands that they didn’t need to give women the right to vote because it would dilute their opinions. It is easy to see how absurd that would be now and which is why so many folks don’t see the importance of voting. I didn’t live in the time where women couldn’t get a divorce even if she was horsewhipped by her husband because it was acceptable to use excessive force in order to “control” your woman. (You can’t control this, c’mon now)   I didn’t come from a period where interracial marriage was illegal because some felt marrying a person of color would create a “Mongol” breed and it was important to “preserve the racial integrity of its citizens….to prevent the corruption of blood” (see Supreme Court case Loving v. Virginia). I also didn’t live in a time of the Civil Rights movements of the 60s and 70s that fought for equal rights for all citizens. Even though I didn’t live in these times, it is important to remember that we can vote because of our ancestors, because of their blood, sweat, and tears. We are free because they stood up for what was right and so we can sit here on the computer and gripe about how the country is falling apart and then do nothing about it. There are countries where people risk their lives just by voting, something we take for granted. This country was built on equality and is why so many people want to live here. Being in a free society has not come without its struggles, discriminations, or mistreatments. Living the American dream is a right given to all citizens and can only bring about progression for the good of everyone. To live free and to ensure all are free and receive equal treatment may be a burden at times, but a burden that is worth fighting for and part of that process is by voting. I am not going to say who I am voting for, my family and friends know my political views, and I am not going to tell anyone who to vote for (no matter how much I want to), but what I think is more important is to vote, period.

Your vote is your voice, so use it for the love of God!

Ok…(mic to the floor)…

So who are you voting for so I know if I should take you off my Christmas card list?  Jk!  No seriously, who?

🙂

So what are your thoughts?  Am I alone in my frustration?

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Time-Out Thursday/Thank you “Goddamn” Dora

March 22, 2012 at 2:36 pm (Uncategorized)
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For those of you not aware, there is a much-needed twitter account, @goddamndora.  I think this person read all parent’s minds who have had to endure Dora or other annoying characters on TV.  (Caillou anyone?)  I have been resistant from the start about Dora.  Who is this chica and why do her parents let her go “exploring” with just a backpack, a monkey with ugly red boots, who has to worry about a creepy fox that steals sh*t?  I do not like the fact that she speaks Spanglish, “Hola Amigos!  I’m Dora and this is Boots.  Mira, it’s Swiper the fox.”  I have never been a fan of those, either speak one language or the other, but not both!  (Ok, Handy Manny, Diego, and Ni Hao, Kai-Lan?  It is sooo annoying!)  On a sidenote, I have learned that Nick Jr on demand has episodes of Dora that are purely in Spanish, so I now download those and have them watch that instead.  Ok, continuing…

Even though I have been hesitant to letting my kids watch Dora, the minute my little girl mouthed the word, “Do-ra,” when she saw her in the store and the way her eyes lit up, was the minute my heart melted and I thought I would give this chick a chance.  Now we are on Dora overload:  Dora shoes, Dora pinatas, Dora shirts, Dora coloring books, OH MY FREAKING GOD, what have I done?  Now I can’t get rid of Dora even if I tried, I think my 2 yr old daughter would pimp slap me and say, “Momma, you see those crayons over there?  Yes, those. You want me to make a mural out of that wall?  Yeah… I didn’t think so..”  I’m serious, everyone thinks my girl is the sweetest and cutest  in the world, but when no one is around, let me tell you, she turns into a diva!  So basically, Dora is in our lives forever.  Also, I guess Dora isn’t as bad as I thought because my son somehow repeats things that have been said during an episode or remembers the lesson the show was teaching.  It still boggles my mind though how he does learn anything, I mean trying to get their attention when they are watching their boob tube program is beyond ridiculous.  A freaking freight train that catches on fire that is carrying fireworks  could go through my living room right next to my kids and it wouldn’t even faze them.  “Hello?  kids?  Look at Mommy. Hello………?  Do you hear me?  I’m talking to you!  Turn around… Hey!…You want a cookie?….What, still nothing?…How about some crack?….Hello Hello Hello??!”  Geez,Louise so frustrating.  The trick is to just turn off the TV, and then it is Bam, “Mommy, turn it back on!…. I want to watch Dora!…No it is not over!….I don’t want to go outside!…I’m not hungry!…. Why did you do that , Mommy?”  Ummmm, to make sure you weren’t trapped in your body?  Ok?  I know as a parent of two tots, I am not alone in my annoyances with these TV characters.  Someone out there in this sea of barf inducing kid TV programs, is an angel in disguise, and her name is @goddamndora.  That is my time-out for today and actually everyday when I need a break from all this and need a laugh or two, or three.  It is for my own sanity, because just when I think I am going to go crazy and be taken away in a white suit by 3 large nurses if I hear just one more time, “Swiping, no swiping, swiping, no swiping!  Seriously, shut the F up!,”  I can check my twitter to see what this Dora is tweeting today….

Like:  “First, we go through the rainforest. Next, we have to cross Crocodile Lake. And that’s how I get to school every goddamn morning.”

Or…. “I’ll never find it now? Seriously? All you did was throw it over that fucking bush! Dick.”

Awww, I love you @goddammndora, you might need therapy, but don’t we all?

So what do you think of this whole Dora shenanigan?

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Time-Out Thursday- Timeout with the Kids

February 23, 2012 at 9:11 pm (Uncategorized)
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Is it possible to take a time-out with the kids?  If someone were to tell me to take a time-out with the kids, I would probably give them my “whatcha talking ’bout Willis,” crazy look.  After an overwhelming week, that is exactly what I did, and I plan on doing more when I feel stressed out.

This has been one crazy, no let me rephrase, one crazy quarter at school.  It seems like with each new quarter, comes more challenges, more work, harder classes, and thus more stress.  I still have a little over a year left with school and it seems like this is taking forever.  I am going for a B.S. (haha I know, BS) in Business, majoring in accounting and boy this is the most difficult thing I have ever done.  I would rather go through childbirth again than to be put through this daily mind scrambling and stress like you are going to explode type of feeling.  Maybe it is because going thru labor with my kids, although it was extremely painful due to no other choice but au natural labor, the whole process of squeezing the little ones out only took a few hours.  (but all of that is another future blog post)  So, going through a few hours of  pain, is so much easier than going through 3 years of excessive stress.  Now, I am not writing this to get people to feel sorry for me, “oh poor girl, college with kids is sooo hard, she is getting this opportunity of a lifetime and it is so stressful, imagine that….” and blah blah.. I understand that I am fortunate to be in this circumstance considering many mothers cannot stay at home  while their husband is the sole income while they go back to school to get a degree.  That being said, venting about your situation is different then complaining about it.

Ok, continuing….  I hear from other classmates or family members, “I don’t know how you do it, 2 kids and all this work, I could never do that,”  or I hear… “when do you have time to study?  How do you get all your chores done, and cooking and cleaning too?  You must be super busy all the time..”  To be honest, I don’t know how I do it either, but putting more time in one thing, means I’m not taking care of other things.  I study in the morning before the kids wake up, sometimes I “try” to do homework while they are awake, work on projects and papers during their nap times, and other studying or field trip/group meetings on weekends.  Chores you say?  Ha, my house is a mess 90% of the time and I do some trick cleaning before company comes over.  Dinners you say?  Ha, crock pot is my friend but also my enemy. I do not remember ever having a crock pot meal that made anyone say, “that was the best damn meal I’ve ever had,” yeah don’t think that will ever happen with a crock pot.  Mondays and Wednesdays, I usually pick up dinner because I have a late class and on weekends, I am so lazy to cook that all I want to do is sleep or sprawl out on the couch and watch a mind numbing show at full volume to overcome the “Mommy….I want peanut butter…..Mommy where’s my Mater truck…Mommy outside….Mommy I want to watch Yogi Bear…Mommy….Mommy….Mommy…..!”  This last week got to the point where I felt like giving up, and telling myself that I don’t know why I am doing this.  I don’t get to spend time with my kids, I get maybe 20 minutes/day of uninterrupted adult talk with my husband, I miss out on things with family/friends because I have to study, my house has a sign on the window that says “clean me,” and I don’t remember the last time I was able to relax.  My son tells me the other day, “Mommy, stay home, you don’t need to go to class, you go to school too much.”  I wanted to cry, the last thing I wanted was for my kids to feel neglected.  My son doesn’t understand why I am doing this, all he knows is Mommy doesn’t spend much time with me.  My daughter is too little to express how she feels, but I’m sure she misses me too.

So now coming to the time out part.  After another overwhelming day in the life of moi, instead of doing dishes, another load of laundry, or reading from my Accounting book, I stopped and told the kids we are going upstairs.  My daughter looks at me, “Mimi?” (shortened word for sleep in Spanish)  Then my son says, “I don’t want to go Mimi, Mommy.. I want to play 5 minutes.”  I said, “No we are not going mimi, let’s go play.”  I blasted some music in my room to the tune of one of my son’s favorite songs, “I need a dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need….hey hey…”  My son loves the hey hey part and my girl loves anything with a beat.  We just danced and ran around in the room and sang the song at the top of our lungs.  Then played a few more songs and we danced until I exhausted myself and of course the kids still had tons of never-ending energy!  Afterwards I felt so relaxed and wonderful that I don’t know why I didn’t do that more often.  I think it should become our end of the day routine from now on… dancing in our pjs, then brushing teeth, books, then bed.

What ways do you take a time-out with your kids?

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Time-out Thursday

February 16, 2012 at 3:03 pm (Uncategorized)
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Welcome to Time-out Thursday, where I’ll be posting those special moments when I have needed or took a “Mommy Time-Out.”  You know those times where if your precious child just looks at you the wrong way, you are going to scream your freaking head off and will get those “Mom’s gone coo coo for coco puffs” kind of looks.  Or the situations where you are trying to discipline your little angel and she gives you a puckered lip look and it takes everything in  your power not to laugh.  Yes, those are the times we need to say, “Ok, Mommy needs a time-out!”  So let’s begin!

Yesterday, my husband was driving me to class and the kiddies were calmly entertaining themselves in the backseat.  It was a  rainy and chilly evening, and in California that means people forget how to drive in it.  The car in front of us was going extremely slow, so my hubs switched lanes and the car in front of  him now decided to slow down and turn left.  He goes to switch lanes again and then the light turns red.  Proceeding down the road, we get every single red light that has been invented and get behind every old person that has ever existed.  You can imagine the frustration building in my husband’s face and hands as his jaw clenches and his hands become tightly griped on the steering wheel.  Finally, he has had enough and shouts out “For F**k’s Sake!” forgetting in the moment that we have two little beings in the back that seem to always tune in at the wrong times.  Immediately my son’s ears perk up and his eyebrows lift as he asks:

“Fox?   Where’s the fox?”

Hubs:  “Oh yeah, uhhh the fox, ummm he went that way!”

Son:  “Well, where?  What’s a fox sake?”

My husband glances at me as if to say…”Did I just say that outloud?” and looks to me for some help. 

Me: ” Sorry, you’re on your own buddy.  You said it, you gotta deal with it.”

Since my hubs didn’t answer..

Son:  “Mommy, what’s a fox sake? ”

Well sh*t, what the h-e-double hockey sticks am I suppose to say?  I didn’t say it, arghhh!

Me:  “Uhhh, Mommy is in time-out!”

Son:  “Oh, ok, Mommy.”

Whew!  Point for Mommy as my son just starts playing with his toy cars and his sister’s doll.  (Hey it is OK, he has his car in one hand and taking care of a baby in the other- he multi-tasks!)  Thinking that I have some how gotten away from a sticky situation:

About 10 minutes later-

Son:  “Mommy you still in time-out?”

Me:  “No sweetie, Mommy is not in time-out.”

Son:  “Oh, what’s a fox sake?”

For the love of 8 pound, 19 inch,sweet baby Jesus, help me out kind sir!  Then, my hubs pulls up to the curb that is now illuminating with light as if God is showing me the way….. yes showing me the way out of this situation yet again.  I exit with a smile on my face as I look back at my husband while he gives me a gerbil in a microwave kind of look, “helpless” is the word.  Hey, I was the one last time explaining to my son why we don’t call people a “poopy butt-crack,” I think the hubs can handle this one!

Thanks for joining me in this edition of “Time-Out Thursday.”  What is your time-out moment of the week?

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One Day

January 15, 2012 at 9:13 am (Uncategorized)
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ONE DAY

One day, I’ll make more money

One day, I’ll wear that dress

One day, I’ll take care of myself

One day, I’ll stop being a mess

—–

One day, I’ll be strong

One day, I’ll be free

One day, I’ll be more patient

One day, I’ll take you seriously

—–

One day, I’ll have more fun

One day, I’ll keep in touch

One day, I’ll make more friends

One day, I won’t stress so much

—–

One day, I’ll go to the gym

One day, I’ll play more with my kids

One day, I’ll take them to that place

One day, I’ll forgive

—–

I need to stop saying one day and change it to today, cause before I know it

One Day, I’ll pass away

—–

What Life is About
2 Reasons for Doing Things Today

 

Are there things you are putting off for another day?  What is stopping you from doing them now?  

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No, I’m Not From Oklahoma

January 6, 2012 at 5:31 pm (Uncategorized)
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Yes, I am from the Sooner state of Oklahoma and now that famous song from the musical “Oklahoma” is popping in my head.  I moved to California quite a while ago, but every time someone hears I am from Okieland, I know the jokes are going to start coming and those country accents.  Contrary to belief, not everyone from the Midwest sounds like a “hick” or says things like “Whooo, wee” and “Y’all.”  I have never cow-tipped in my life, I didn’t grow up on a farm, I don’t even know where to find a piece of wheat to chew on it, I didn’t go around barefoot, and you cannot shoot a mosquito with a shot gun.  Being a representative of that state, I can tell you that I have tried my dandiest to dispel those types of stereotypes and misconceptions.  I will admit, there have been times I have been embarrassed to call  myself an Okie, especially around election time, but like the saying goes, “never forget where you came from,” I will never forget because it shaped who I am today.  I was raised in an environment that encouraged education, respect, loyalty, love, silliness, being a good citizen, and standing up for what you believe in.  So in essence, I can’t knock my roots, because I am my roots.  Then there are incidents like what happened a few years ago, that make me deny my rootage (a word?).  Here is the story:

A few years after moving away from the good ol’ Land of the Red People (what Oklahoma translates to- thanks history class), I went back for a visit.  Now prior to this visit, I have never denied being from Oklahoma.  If someone asked me or in conversation I would volunteer the information because I like to talk about myself (who doesn’t?), then I would proudly reveal that yes I in fact am from Oklahoma.  Then I would wait from the little chuckles and make some jokes myself, and all in good humor.  This time was different.  My hubby and I decided to go to Subway for lunch, nothing fancy, just wanted a delicious club with all the fix in’s(Okie talk).  We proceeded to go to the counter and placed the usual order… 6 inch subway club on wheat bread, provolone cheese, light on lettuce, a few pickles, mayo/mustard, oil and vinegar with extra vinegar.  I didn’t notice any avocados, so I thought that they must have run out or had some more in the back.  I asked the guy behind the counter, “Do you have any avocados?” and he gave me this look like I asked him what he thought about the US foreign policy.  He looked outraged and then gave me one of those swanky kind of grins and then squealed, “A-VA-CA-DA? … Y’all aren’t from around here are ya?”  He said it in a way that was the most stereotypical, hickish way you could imagine.  I cowardly responded, “No, we aren’t, we are from CALIFORNIA!”

For the first time in my life, I could not admit that I was in fact from there.  I couldn’t help it, I was always trying not to be like that kind of “Okie” because people judge you if you are a little too country, they assume you are not educated or have a backwards type of thinking.  Now I know better and don’t really care if someone makes that kind of assumption because I gots my edumacation and backward thinking types do not exist in accents, or certain states, cultures, or one particular country, they are everywhere and one of them could be your neighbor!  (Wooo, scary)  I’ve learned to be proud of who I am and where I came from.  That is what makes me unique in this sea of surfers, parking lot attendees (traffic), and celebrity stalkers.  Also, when bands come along like “Kings of Leon,” it makes me really proud of what Oklahoma soil can breed.  On a side note: if you haven’t heard all their songs because you have been under a rock like I have, listen to them and play them over and over again.  They are incredible and when they get their stuff together and have another concert, my hubby better make it happen.

I will close with the song that has been in my head while writing this that way You can have it stuck in your head all day.

“Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweeping down the plains.  And the waving wheat, it sure smells sweet…” and then my mind cuts to… “O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A, Oklahoma, OK!”

You Are Welcome!

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Santa as a Discipline Tactic

December 23, 2011 at 4:27 pm (Uncategorized)
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The innocence of childhood means you can tell your children literally anything and they will believe  you.  (Suckers!)  In some ways it is a right of passage, your parents lied to  you, their parents lied to them, and now it is your turn.  Tricking your kids to believing in a fat, jolly, white-beared man who rides in on a sleigh and somehow squeezes his big ol’ butt down a chimney to deliver presents, is now your job as a parent.  I was conflicted about whether or not to continue this tradition with my kids because I felt a little uneasy saying, “Santa is going to give you toys,” and “you better be a good boy, you don’t want to be on the naughty list.”  Once I realized that I can use this as a discipline tactic, my qualms quickly vanished.  Common sayings in my household this holiday season have been, “pick up your toys or Santa isn’t going to bring you anymore,”  “Don’t you want to be a good boy?  I guess I need to call Santa and tell him not to bring you anything,” and “be nice to your sister, Santa knows if you are being naughty or nice.”  Another usage I have found for the whole Santa fiasco is that I have been able to get out of the store without the usual whining and temper tantrum scenes after I tell my son he can’t have a toy.  Every freaking time we go to the store, he thinks he will get a toy, and when he realizes that Mommy isn’t buying that, he will scream and try to jump out of the cart.  Now, thanks to Santa,  I tell him that we can’t buy him anymore toys right now because Santa is going to bring him toys for Christmas.  If we buy him a toy now, Santa will have to take his toys back.  It works like a charm!  My darling son will just say, “Oh, ok Mommy, I get it.”  Then I pat myself on the back, pause, then start thinking that maybe he is really saying ok Mommy, I get it, you are screwing with me.  I’ll get you back one day.  Hahaha!  Then my senses come to me, not my sweet son, he wouldn’t think such a thing,no way!  I just don’t know what I am going to do when Christmas is over.  How am I going to get out of buying him that millionth car that he just has to have so he can take the wheels off and tell me that he broke it?  Or another train that he likes to get so he can lose it and tell me a lion took it?  His birthday is in March, so I can probably use the same tactic as that approaches, but what will I do before then?  Just tell him “no” like the good ol’ days and then remind myself that this is why duck tape was invented?  Well, I know that once I see the light in my kid’s eyes as they open their presents, all my uptightness will go away (for the moment) and will see how the whole rush and stress of the holidays is all worth it.  I can’t wait to see the glitter in their eyes as we look in the sky to see if Santa and his reindeer are up there.  Later coming back to the house after looking at Christmas lights to see a half eaten cookie, a little milk spilled on the table (Santa’s a little slob ain’t he?), and presents left for the kiddies, all to see the amazement on their faces will be priceless.  I guess I need to sit back and enjoy all the wonderment that is Christmas and if for only because of the joy it brings my kids.  Seeing their cute little faces smile and laugh is worth everything.  So before Santa is ruined for them, most likely by another kid like it was for me, I’ll embrace the holiday, Santa and all. Hang in there everyone, and have a very jolly, drama-free (hahahaha) MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

How are you surviving the holidays?  Do you use Santa to keep your kids in line?  Tell me!

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Time to Find a New Pediatrician

December 21, 2011 at 6:41 pm (Uncategorized)
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Things that tell me, no, shout to me, to find a new doctor for my kids:

1)  Waiting an hour in the waiting room

Ok, it is one thing to have to wait for your own appointment, but to wait an hour before even seeing the nurse or doctor is excruciating when you have little ones.  Don’t touch this, stop running, give me back my phone, pick up that mess, don’t sit next to the child that is hacking up a lung, don’t tear up the  magazines, blah blah blah. 

I know that every time I visit the pediatrician, I am going to be there for at least 2 hours, which is beyond ridiculous.  I thought that if I was there for the first available appointment (9:00am), that it wouldn’t take as long.  Wrong!  They still didn’t take my copayment  until 9:15 and then was called back there at 9:30.  I finally asked why the heck it takes so long just to be seen, especially since I am the very first person there and it is because they have to verify my insurance.  Every single time I come in, they verify insurance, not before my appointment, but when I show up.  So, my wait time depends on how fast my insurance company answers the phone.  WTF?

2)  Telling me they ran out of vaccines, oh wait….no they didn’t

On one occasion, I took my daughter to the doctor for a shot only visit, so I thought I would be in and out of there.  Silly me!  My appointment was originally at 9am and the doctor’s office called me the day before to see if I could come in at 8:30.  Ok, the office doesn’t open until 9, but I thought ok fine, they were getting an early start that day, so I agreed.  I would be out of there in no time!  I get there and by 9 o’clock, they still haven’t taken my copayment, so I go to the desk trying not to strangle the person and calmly ask what the hold up was.  Oh that is right, had to verify my insurance and guess what?  The customer service line doesn’t open until 9am!  (I’m sure you can imagine what I was thinking!)  Then, I am told that they ran out of the vaccine I was there for, and I received a bunch of  “Oh, I’m so sorry.”  Sorry?!!?  Ok, I couldn’t remain calm any longer.  In an extremely irritated tone I ranted, “Why did you have me come in a half hour early, what was the point?  To wait even longer?  Then to tell me you ran out of a vaccine? You realize this the day of my appointment?  So now I have to come back and sit through this torture again of waiting for you to verify my insurance?  Did it ever dawn on you to verify insurance the day before people’s appointments?  This is ridiculous!!!”  Then comes a stare and a, “I’ll be right back.”  A few minutes later, the lady returned and asked, “So you have regular insurance right?”  In which I responded, “I don’t know what you mean by regular insurance, but I have insurance.”  Then she asked, “So you don’t have medi-cal?”  In which I said, “No, why?”  She then told me, “Oh, well since you have insurance and not medi-cal, we do have the vaccine.”  If ever I wanted to punch someone in the face, it was then, but I refrained myself and just went to the back for my daughter’s shot and got the heck out of there.  I don’t know why it would freaking matter if I had medi-cal or not, maybe some kind of allocation for medi-cal patients, I don’t really care.  I have no idea why they were verifying insurance on the one hand, and then thinking I had  medi-cal on the other.  WTF?

3)  The doctor doesn’t believe in pacifiers

How can you not believe in pacifiers?  It is one thing to say you don’t believe in Santa Claus, but to say you do not believe in pacifiers?  So I guess he believes sleep is overrated cause pacifiers give that extra comfort to help the baby sleep and thus, sleep for the parents.  Pacifiers are a godsend and they work because babies love to suck and this provides a comfort and soothing mechanism for them.  Pacifiers are  mommy’s best friend and we shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about using them.  I told him that I used them for my son and daughter in which he told me that  he didn’t like them because parents need to learn how to soothe their baby in other ways and not take the easy way out.  What?  Being a parent is hard enough and using a pacifier is the easy way out?  I think I looked at him in a confused way because then he said that they are not good for the child because pacifiers delay speech and social interactions.  Yes, if your child always has the pacifier in their mouths, I can see this, but if it is used for what it was designed for, then they are wonderful and do not create problems.  They are not designed to shut the baby up (ok ok, sometimes), but are to help calm the baby down so they can sleep or relax.  My son stopped using his “wa wa” around 2 years old and I am working on my girl to stop.  They both are very social and I can’t “shut” them up even if I tried.  So, WTF?

4)  Staff that doesn’t seem to care much for kids

If you work in a pediatrician’s office or are a pediatrician, you would think that you enjoyed kids.  So when my son says “Hi or how are you doing” please look at him and smile and answer him like he is a person.  He is a person, just a smaller version and one who has better manners.  I thought it was just one particular person that did this, but other times that I have gone I have noticed it is a number of people there.  The doctor I noticed just looks at my children, but doesn’t smile at them or talk to them.  He answers my questions, but that is about it.  I had a different doctor at a different office before, but since we moved, I had to change to this doctor.  The previous doctor and all the staff were so good to my children.  All smiles, giving my son high 5s, talking to them, giving them toys and stickers, and making them feel important.  Now this office, it is get it in and get out.  My daughter on her last visit said “Hi” and gave the nurse the biggest cheesy smile that would even make the Grinch chuckle.  Not this lady.  She just took her weight and pointed to the room to go in.  I thought, oh my God, what the heck is her problem?  She needs to work for the DMV, she’d fit it very well.  This is my last, WTF?

Ok, so thankfully I will be changing insurances next year and thus, a new doctor.  Here is hoping for better doctor experiences in 2012!     

Do you have any other reasons to switch doctors?  I’d like to hear from you!

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Reminder to Self: Don’t Forget to Enjoy the Holidays

December 16, 2011 at 7:13 pm (Uncategorized)
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This is easier said than done.  Through all the hustle, bustle, and stress of the holidays, I have to stop and remind myself what this whole season is about.  It isn’t about how I am going to stretch my money to buy gifts, what desserts to bake because I can’t make up my mind, the million presents I want to buy kids, being stuck in traffic because I decided to go to that store that was having the big sale for toys, waiting in a mile long line at the store, trying to find that stupid coupon so I can get an extra 20% off, or feeling guilty about not being able to buy for everyone.  Yes, those are a part of the season, but they shouldn’t be what takes over the true purpose of the holidays.  What makes Christmas, Christmas, is different for everyone, but I think it all centers on the same things:  family, love, giving, food, and music.  For me, Christmas means seeing the amazement on my children’s faces as they open up their gifts, the “oh wows” as we go around looking at Christmas lights,   sitting down with family for a delicious meal, drinking hot cocoa by the fireplace, smacking down on cherry crisp with a dollop of ice cream, snuggling under a blanket with my kids and husband as we watch Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, and putting my kids in their fuzzy, cozy, warm Santa pajamas.  Allowing myself to get overwhelmed takes away from the joy and good that this season brings.  It is a time for community and spending quality time with family and friends.  It is a time to slow down and be thankful for all that we have, even though at times it reminds us of what we don’t have.  It reminds me of the money I don’t have, the family and friends that I am apart from and miss dearly, and my grandparents who have passed away.  Then I try to focus and appreciate on what I do have:  a supportive and hardworking husband who loves me, two beautiful and healthy children who are the light of my life, my health, a roof over my head, food in my belly, the opportunity to stay at home and go to college, and a wonderful support system of family and friends.  Life is about making memories and the times we have enjoyed with each other.  It isn’t about the material things, I don’t even remember what I received last year for Christmas, but what I do remember is the warmth and joy that I felt from the people I was around.  My son loves getting new toys and my girl loves to get stickers and dolls, but what I know they love more is being cuddled and kissed and being silly with them.  So when the holidays start to stress me out and I worry about what gift to buy, I need to remind myself that the best and greatest gift I can give is my time and love.  Of course, this only applies to me, so I’ll still expect a bunch of lavish and expensive gifts from everyone else, mmmmmkay? 

:-p

So what stresses you out about the holidays?  What are the things you enjoy about the season?  I would love to know!

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