Boys and Their Guns

You have heard of the saying, “Boys will be boys.” Well, my 4 yr old is a boy’s boy. He loves cars, dirt, making messes, wrestling, and making his momma crazy. Now added to the list, is pretending he is shooting everything in sight. When I say everything, I’m talking me, the wall, TV, his sister, the sky, and strangers. I can play dumb and act like “I have no idea where he gets this from,” but the truth is I know exactly where he gets it from. No matter how much we have tried to not allow our children to watch people shooting each other, there have been times when we are watching a movie while the kids are playing in the other room and just when someone’s head is about to get blown off, here comes the innocent little man up behind the couch saying, “what happened to him Mommy?” Does he come in the room during the other times when nothing bad is going on? Of course not, kids have a way of showing up in the exact moment you don’t want them to. So based on past experiences, we don’t watch those kinds of shows while the kids are around, or if we do, we make sure they are locked away in a dungeon somewhere. (I kid) Then there are times when we finally sit down after a long day thinking the kiddos are asleep, watch Games of Thrones, where people are getting stabbed and things are happening you kind of wish you didn’t know about, and then BAM, you hear your little sweet boy ask, “Why’s it all red Mommy?” Your boy sneaked out of his bedroom and is laying on the floor upstairs where you cannot see him, right smack in plain sight of the TV! So great, you think you’ve scarred him for life because God only knows how long he has been watching. Now you realize you cannot watch anything else but Yo Gabba Gabba until he is 18, basically your life is over. (by the way, anyone else think that show is creepy?) So now he likes to build “guns” with his blocks, position his fingers to “shoot” things, and wants me to buy him a gun. I don’t know what is the right thing to do:  1) ignore it, 2) put him in time out for “shooting” his sister, 3) quickly tell him to not do that, or 4) give up and buy him an AK 47. This used to not be a big deal, kids used to play “Cowboys and Indians and  Bankers and Robbers,” but times have changed. Just like we don’t ride in the back of a pickup truck going 60 mph on the freeway and fight over who is going to ride the “hump,” or lay out in the sun without any sunblock and burn till you look like a lobster, we know better now. Studies show that kids who watch violent shows, videos, etc… at a young age have a tendency to become aggressive and violent as they become older. It probably takes more than watching a few clips of shoot em ups to get this way and there are other factors that come into play, but I can’t help thinking if I am being overly sensitive about this or if I should send the message that “shooting” people although it is just pretend, is not okay. I know guns don’t kill people, people kill people, and blah blah, and I have no problem if he wants to shoot a gun one day, but at an appropriate age and in an appropriate environment. So I tell him that it isn’t nice to “shoot” at people, he responds with “Why Mommy?” or “no, Mommy, it’s not a gun, it is a water hose.” See how they turn it around on you?
Maybe I’m worrying too much (Moms do that), because his innocence is still there and probably won’t disappear until puberty (then I’ll run for the hills). He comes up to me and gives me a kiss for no reason, always asks if I’m ok when I hurt myself, makes sure he gets his sister a cup of water before he gets himself one, and wants me to hold his hand and hug him for “5 more minutes Mommy,” before he goes to sleep. Hopefully, this is a normal phase and it will pass, but now I have  an additional problem: my darling 2-year-old girl has started to get into the “shooting” action and likes to “shoot” me too, but she does it with a wink. What  is that all about? Is she trying to send me a hidden message? 

Should I worry or just let this phase pass?
Tell me your thoughts, I’d love to hear them! (as long as I agree with them- jk!)

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My Nurturing Son

As a mom you always think your children are the best in the world and maybe it is my parent “googles,” but I think my son is one special little guy.  As a 3 1/2 year old, he does what any other 3-year-old is supposed to do, drive mommy crazy!  He asserts himself more and more everyday, tests me on a daily….no wait… on a minute to minute basis, asks tons of questions that I run out of answers for, picks on his sister, and loves to make messes.  I am trying to raise a sympathetic and caring child(like all of us), but there are times when I wonder if what I’m doing is working.  Is he ever going to get over this “wanting to destroy and take apart everything and then throw those items at his sister” stage.  He loves to push his sister just as much as he loves to give her hugs.  He loves to take her books away from her just as much as he loves to sit next to her and “read” to her.  He loves to take her food while she is eating just as much as he loves to feed her.  So I’m conflicted.  Is he trying to keep mommy confused or is it just normal boy behavior?  I teach him to be “nice” and “take care” of his sister and to watch out for her and to “protect” her.  So when things are starting to seem like he will never be this way.  A “bit and piece” appears that shows me that my worrying is for nothing.  I bought a doll and play crib for my girl and we were all playing with it.  My girl was taking care of the baby and  my son was throwing the doll around.  I told him he needed to help his sister take care of the baby, sing to the doll and put her in the crib so she could “sleep.”  Then we all get ready for bed.  We go upstairs and I put the doll in her crib between my son’s bed and his sister’s crib(they share a room).  I go to check on them a little while later and find that my girl is asleep, but my darling son is still awake.  I notice that he has something in his bed.  I realize that the doll’s crib is next to him, but I don’t see the “baby.”  I ask him where the “baby” is and he says, “right here” and points to his chest.  The doll is upside down, underneath his shirt.  I’m thinking why in the heck is the baby underneath his shirt and why is it upside down?  So I calmly ask him, “Why is the baby under your shirt and not on top of your chest?  You should have her on top of your chest to rock her to sleep.”  Then he says, “No Mommy, the baby was thirsty?”  So I ask kind of puzzled, “Well then why don’t you give her some water?”  In which he then responds, “because she wanted milk Mommy, so I am giving it to her!”  Aww, my sweet innocent son.  He will be a great dad one day and if his wife can’t breastfeed, he’ll gladly take over.  I guess I know what to get him for Christmas!  Maybe a breastfeeding doll?  Lord help me now!

Do have any shards of evidence that your parenting has worked?   

Thanks for letting me share!

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