Santa as a Discipline Tactic

The innocence of childhood means you can tell your children literally anything and they will believe  you.  (Suckers!)  In some ways it is a right of passage, your parents lied to  you, their parents lied to them, and now it is your turn.  Tricking your kids to believing in a fat, jolly, white-beared man who rides in on a sleigh and somehow squeezes his big ol’ butt down a chimney to deliver presents, is now your job as a parent.  I was conflicted about whether or not to continue this tradition with my kids because I felt a little uneasy saying, “Santa is going to give you toys,” and “you better be a good boy, you don’t want to be on the naughty list.”  Once I realized that I can use this as a discipline tactic, my qualms quickly vanished.  Common sayings in my household this holiday season have been, “pick up your toys or Santa isn’t going to bring you anymore,”  “Don’t you want to be a good boy?  I guess I need to call Santa and tell him not to bring you anything,” and “be nice to your sister, Santa knows if you are being naughty or nice.”  Another usage I have found for the whole Santa fiasco is that I have been able to get out of the store without the usual whining and temper tantrum scenes after I tell my son he can’t have a toy.  Every freaking time we go to the store, he thinks he will get a toy, and when he realizes that Mommy isn’t buying that, he will scream and try to jump out of the cart.  Now, thanks to Santa,  I tell him that we can’t buy him anymore toys right now because Santa is going to bring him toys for Christmas.  If we buy him a toy now, Santa will have to take his toys back.  It works like a charm!  My darling son will just say, “Oh, ok Mommy, I get it.”  Then I pat myself on the back, pause, then start thinking that maybe he is really saying ok Mommy, I get it, you are screwing with me.  I’ll get you back one day.  Hahaha!  Then my senses come to me, not my sweet son, he wouldn’t think such a thing,no way!  I just don’t know what I am going to do when Christmas is over.  How am I going to get out of buying him that millionth car that he just has to have so he can take the wheels off and tell me that he broke it?  Or another train that he likes to get so he can lose it and tell me a lion took it?  His birthday is in March, so I can probably use the same tactic as that approaches, but what will I do before then?  Just tell him “no” like the good ol’ days and then remind myself that this is why duck tape was invented?  Well, I know that once I see the light in my kid’s eyes as they open their presents, all my uptightness will go away (for the moment) and will see how the whole rush and stress of the holidays is all worth it.  I can’t wait to see the glitter in their eyes as we look in the sky to see if Santa and his reindeer are up there.  Later coming back to the house after looking at Christmas lights to see a half eaten cookie, a little milk spilled on the table (Santa’s a little slob ain’t he?), and presents left for the kiddies, all to see the amazement on their faces will be priceless.  I guess I need to sit back and enjoy all the wonderment that is Christmas and if for only because of the joy it brings my kids.  Seeing their cute little faces smile and laugh is worth everything.  So before Santa is ruined for them, most likely by another kid like it was for me, I’ll embrace the holiday, Santa and all. Hang in there everyone, and have a very jolly, drama-free (hahahaha) MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

How are you surviving the holidays?  Do you use Santa to keep your kids in line?  Tell me!

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I Need a Mute Button

How can so much noise come out of two little kids?  If it isn’t coming from their yelling or crying, then it is coming from banging on their piano, rolling the toy lawn mower on the floor, cars being scraped on the wall, chairs being pushed on the tile floor, and toy trains/cars/planes/anything they can get their hands on crashing together to make the loudest freaking “clang” you can think of.  Also, who was the genius who bought these noise creating, make you go insane toys?  Oh yeah, it was me.  When you are at the store, you think “oh this is a good toy, educational, hours of fun” and then you bring it home and you soon realize it was a huge mistake.  Later you decide to put one up and soon follows another loud toy in its place that you thought you got rid of.  After some thinking,  you then decide that  you’ll only let the kids play with one noise inducing toy at certain times of the day when you have more patience.  That doesn’t work because now the kids are fighting over who gets to play with the ear-piercing toy, so you bring out two noise enhancers and surprise, they both want what the other has.  So, you try to negotiate over the crying and screaming until you get to the point where you want to cry and scream and finally you yell, “Enough, no one gets to play with the stupid toys!”  Yes, not exactly your finest moment. What also doesn’t help is when your significant other says “Well why did you buy that for them?”  Yeah….not a good time ok!!?? 

So then it occurs to me that it be nice to have a portable mute button that you can use whenever the noise level exceeded your toleration level.  You could set it so when noise is > toleration level, mute button goes on.  Then everyone is happy.  Kids get to make all the noise they want and mommy doesn’t have to hear it.  Daddy is also happy because then he doesn’t have to hear mommy gripe about how she is going to go crazy if she hears one more freaking scrape on the floor or how she is going to break the toys in two.  Aww yes, the magical mute button, it could have other uses as well.  You spent how much at the store?  (mute to not hear husband)  Do you want to sign up for this newspaper to get all the coupons?  No? Don’t you like to save money? (mute to you annoying person at the grocery store Person next to you in class that is talking to you while the teacher is talking. (Mute to you blabber mouth.  I am trying to get an education)  It might even work for other people’s kids! (might have to tweak the settings)  So much potential!

It would be a great stress reliever, don’t you think?    Do you have any other ideas that would make your life a little easier?  Tell me about it!

Thanks for reading!

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