Time-out Thursday

Welcome to Time-out Thursday, where I’ll be posting those special moments when I have needed or took a “Mommy Time-Out.”  You know those times where if your precious child just looks at you the wrong way, you are going to scream your freaking head off and will get those “Mom’s gone coo coo for coco puffs” kind of looks.  Or the situations where you are trying to discipline your little angel and she gives you a puckered lip look and it takes everything in  your power not to laugh.  Yes, those are the times we need to say, “Ok, Mommy needs a time-out!”  So let’s begin!

Yesterday, my husband was driving me to class and the kiddies were calmly entertaining themselves in the backseat.  It was a  rainy and chilly evening, and in California that means people forget how to drive in it.  The car in front of us was going extremely slow, so my hubs switched lanes and the car in front of  him now decided to slow down and turn left.  He goes to switch lanes again and then the light turns red.  Proceeding down the road, we get every single red light that has been invented and get behind every old person that has ever existed.  You can imagine the frustration building in my husband’s face and hands as his jaw clenches and his hands become tightly griped on the steering wheel.  Finally, he has had enough and shouts out “For F**k’s Sake!” forgetting in the moment that we have two little beings in the back that seem to always tune in at the wrong times.  Immediately my son’s ears perk up and his eyebrows lift as he asks:

“Fox?   Where’s the fox?”

Hubs:  “Oh yeah, uhhh the fox, ummm he went that way!”

Son:  “Well, where?  What’s a fox sake?”

My husband glances at me as if to say…”Did I just say that outloud?” and looks to me for some help. 

Me: ” Sorry, you’re on your own buddy.  You said it, you gotta deal with it.”

Since my hubs didn’t answer..

Son:  “Mommy, what’s a fox sake? ”

Well sh*t, what the h-e-double hockey sticks am I suppose to say?  I didn’t say it, arghhh!

Me:  “Uhhh, Mommy is in time-out!”

Son:  “Oh, ok, Mommy.”

Whew!  Point for Mommy as my son just starts playing with his toy cars and his sister’s doll.  (Hey it is OK, he has his car in one hand and taking care of a baby in the other- he multi-tasks!)  Thinking that I have some how gotten away from a sticky situation:

About 10 minutes later-

Son:  “Mommy you still in time-out?”

Me:  “No sweetie, Mommy is not in time-out.”

Son:  “Oh, what’s a fox sake?”

For the love of 8 pound, 19 inch,sweet baby Jesus, help me out kind sir!  Then, my hubs pulls up to the curb that is now illuminating with light as if God is showing me the way….. yes showing me the way out of this situation yet again.  I exit with a smile on my face as I look back at my husband while he gives me a gerbil in a microwave kind of look, “helpless” is the word.  Hey, I was the one last time explaining to my son why we don’t call people a “poopy butt-crack,” I think the hubs can handle this one!

Thanks for joining me in this edition of “Time-Out Thursday.”  What is your time-out moment of the week?

Follow my blog and follow me on twitter:  @lifeintoylane

 

 

 

Advertisements

Santa as a Discipline Tactic

The innocence of childhood means you can tell your children literally anything and they will believe  you.  (Suckers!)  In some ways it is a right of passage, your parents lied to  you, their parents lied to them, and now it is your turn.  Tricking your kids to believing in a fat, jolly, white-beared man who rides in on a sleigh and somehow squeezes his big ol’ butt down a chimney to deliver presents, is now your job as a parent.  I was conflicted about whether or not to continue this tradition with my kids because I felt a little uneasy saying, “Santa is going to give you toys,” and “you better be a good boy, you don’t want to be on the naughty list.”  Once I realized that I can use this as a discipline tactic, my qualms quickly vanished.  Common sayings in my household this holiday season have been, “pick up your toys or Santa isn’t going to bring you anymore,”  “Don’t you want to be a good boy?  I guess I need to call Santa and tell him not to bring you anything,” and “be nice to your sister, Santa knows if you are being naughty or nice.”  Another usage I have found for the whole Santa fiasco is that I have been able to get out of the store without the usual whining and temper tantrum scenes after I tell my son he can’t have a toy.  Every freaking time we go to the store, he thinks he will get a toy, and when he realizes that Mommy isn’t buying that, he will scream and try to jump out of the cart.  Now, thanks to Santa,  I tell him that we can’t buy him anymore toys right now because Santa is going to bring him toys for Christmas.  If we buy him a toy now, Santa will have to take his toys back.  It works like a charm!  My darling son will just say, “Oh, ok Mommy, I get it.”  Then I pat myself on the back, pause, then start thinking that maybe he is really saying ok Mommy, I get it, you are screwing with me.  I’ll get you back one day.  Hahaha!  Then my senses come to me, not my sweet son, he wouldn’t think such a thing,no way!  I just don’t know what I am going to do when Christmas is over.  How am I going to get out of buying him that millionth car that he just has to have so he can take the wheels off and tell me that he broke it?  Or another train that he likes to get so he can lose it and tell me a lion took it?  His birthday is in March, so I can probably use the same tactic as that approaches, but what will I do before then?  Just tell him “no” like the good ol’ days and then remind myself that this is why duck tape was invented?  Well, I know that once I see the light in my kid’s eyes as they open their presents, all my uptightness will go away (for the moment) and will see how the whole rush and stress of the holidays is all worth it.  I can’t wait to see the glitter in their eyes as we look in the sky to see if Santa and his reindeer are up there.  Later coming back to the house after looking at Christmas lights to see a half eaten cookie, a little milk spilled on the table (Santa’s a little slob ain’t he?), and presents left for the kiddies, all to see the amazement on their faces will be priceless.  I guess I need to sit back and enjoy all the wonderment that is Christmas and if for only because of the joy it brings my kids.  Seeing their cute little faces smile and laugh is worth everything.  So before Santa is ruined for them, most likely by another kid like it was for me, I’ll embrace the holiday, Santa and all. Hang in there everyone, and have a very jolly, drama-free (hahahaha) MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

How are you surviving the holidays?  Do you use Santa to keep your kids in line?  Tell me!

Follow my blog and follow me on twitter:  @lifeintoylane

My Nurturing Son

As a mom you always think your children are the best in the world and maybe it is my parent “googles,” but I think my son is one special little guy.  As a 3 1/2 year old, he does what any other 3-year-old is supposed to do, drive mommy crazy!  He asserts himself more and more everyday, tests me on a daily….no wait… on a minute to minute basis, asks tons of questions that I run out of answers for, picks on his sister, and loves to make messes.  I am trying to raise a sympathetic and caring child(like all of us), but there are times when I wonder if what I’m doing is working.  Is he ever going to get over this “wanting to destroy and take apart everything and then throw those items at his sister” stage.  He loves to push his sister just as much as he loves to give her hugs.  He loves to take her books away from her just as much as he loves to sit next to her and “read” to her.  He loves to take her food while she is eating just as much as he loves to feed her.  So I’m conflicted.  Is he trying to keep mommy confused or is it just normal boy behavior?  I teach him to be “nice” and “take care” of his sister and to watch out for her and to “protect” her.  So when things are starting to seem like he will never be this way.  A “bit and piece” appears that shows me that my worrying is for nothing.  I bought a doll and play crib for my girl and we were all playing with it.  My girl was taking care of the baby and  my son was throwing the doll around.  I told him he needed to help his sister take care of the baby, sing to the doll and put her in the crib so she could “sleep.”  Then we all get ready for bed.  We go upstairs and I put the doll in her crib between my son’s bed and his sister’s crib(they share a room).  I go to check on them a little while later and find that my girl is asleep, but my darling son is still awake.  I notice that he has something in his bed.  I realize that the doll’s crib is next to him, but I don’t see the “baby.”  I ask him where the “baby” is and he says, “right here” and points to his chest.  The doll is upside down, underneath his shirt.  I’m thinking why in the heck is the baby underneath his shirt and why is it upside down?  So I calmly ask him, “Why is the baby under your shirt and not on top of your chest?  You should have her on top of your chest to rock her to sleep.”  Then he says, “No Mommy, the baby was thirsty?”  So I ask kind of puzzled, “Well then why don’t you give her some water?”  In which he then responds, “because she wanted milk Mommy, so I am giving it to her!”  Aww, my sweet innocent son.  He will be a great dad one day and if his wife can’t breastfeed, he’ll gladly take over.  I guess I know what to get him for Christmas!  Maybe a breastfeeding doll?  Lord help me now!

Do have any shards of evidence that your parenting has worked?   

Thanks for letting me share!

Follow my blog and follow me on twitter, @lifeintoylane.