I Need a Mute Button

How can so much noise come out of two little kids?  If it isn’t coming from their yelling or crying, then it is coming from banging on their piano, rolling the toy lawn mower on the floor, cars being scraped on the wall, chairs being pushed on the tile floor, and toy trains/cars/planes/anything they can get their hands on crashing together to make the loudest freaking “clang” you can think of.  Also, who was the genius who bought these noise creating, make you go insane toys?  Oh yeah, it was me.  When you are at the store, you think “oh this is a good toy, educational, hours of fun” and then you bring it home and you soon realize it was a huge mistake.  Later you decide to put one up and soon follows another loud toy in its place that you thought you got rid of.  After some thinking,  you then decide that  you’ll only let the kids play with one noise inducing toy at certain times of the day when you have more patience.  That doesn’t work because now the kids are fighting over who gets to play with the ear-piercing toy, so you bring out two noise enhancers and surprise, they both want what the other has.  So, you try to negotiate over the crying and screaming until you get to the point where you want to cry and scream and finally you yell, “Enough, no one gets to play with the stupid toys!”  Yes, not exactly your finest moment. What also doesn’t help is when your significant other says “Well why did you buy that for them?”  Yeah….not a good time ok!!?? 

So then it occurs to me that it be nice to have a portable mute button that you can use whenever the noise level exceeded your toleration level.  You could set it so when noise is > toleration level, mute button goes on.  Then everyone is happy.  Kids get to make all the noise they want and mommy doesn’t have to hear it.  Daddy is also happy because then he doesn’t have to hear mommy gripe about how she is going to go crazy if she hears one more freaking scrape on the floor or how she is going to break the toys in two.  Aww yes, the magical mute button, it could have other uses as well.  You spent how much at the store?  (mute to not hear husband)  Do you want to sign up for this newspaper to get all the coupons?  No? Don’t you like to save money? (mute to you annoying person at the grocery store Person next to you in class that is talking to you while the teacher is talking. (Mute to you blabber mouth.  I am trying to get an education)  It might even work for other people’s kids! (might have to tweak the settings)  So much potential!

It would be a great stress reliever, don’t you think?    Do you have any other ideas that would make your life a little easier?  Tell me about it!

Thanks for reading!

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2 Comments

  1. Lin Snow said,

    November 15, 2011 at 2:33 am

    I cringe for the days of NOISY TOYS. As it is, we only have a few that make noise, and my 1 year old is afraid of most of them.

    Of course daddy found a free child size drum set that he’s just itching to set up. I think it should go in his home office, don’t you? 😉

  2. November 15, 2011 at 7:33 am

    Yes, home office sounds perfect to me! Too funny!


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